


Just A Little Sickness

by blue_aether_19



Category: ATEEZ (Band), K-pop
Genre: Angst, Choi Jongho-centric, Emotional Hurt/Comfort?, Family, Gen, I actually can't tag, Idk what I am trying to do here, Insecurity, Platonic Relationships, Sickfic, gosh these tags are a mess, idk he's a sad boy and he thinks that he always has to be strong, inner monologues, more internal thoughts, we need more Jongho centered content, well that's where all thoughts are but ya know?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:06:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24070294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_aether_19/pseuds/blue_aether_19
Summary: Jongho is know as the strong maknae, but even he gets sick sometimes.
Relationships: Choi Jongho & Everyone, Choi Jongho & Kim Hongjoong, Choi Jongho & Song Mingi, Choi Jongho/Choi San/Jeong Yunho/Jung Wooyoung/Kang Yeosang/Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa/Song Mingi
Comments: 13
Kudos: 148





	1. Chapter 1

The moment he woke up, he knew something was off. Not off, rather wrong. He had just slept all night, longer and deeper then usual, an extra two hours even. Yet he was still exhausted, even more then before. He had gone to sleep more tired the usual, and he didn’t think he could get more tired then that. His skin felt unnaturally warm and chilly tingles raced across his body. He ached in too many places to count and a light pounding knocked incessantly on the left side of his head. To add to that, every breathe he took had a wheezy aspect to it. 

The aching was more or less normal, seeing how he was a K-pop idol and he had agreed to this aching fate from the moment he had signed on to his first company. The light pounding and the wheeze however, was not. A headache it seemed paired with a cold. Sighing, he retracted his previous thought about the normalness of aching. Come to think of it his body wasn't aching in the "I danced to much yesterday" way but more the "I'm not feeling so good, Mr. Stark" kind of way.

Jongho did not like this.

He didn't like this at all.

In fact, he hated it.

It seemed he was... sick. Jongho couldn't recall the last time he was sick. He was never sick. It just didn't happen. The group constantly joked about his strong constitution and his "strong maknae" status. This couldn't happen, yet here he was. And to make matters worse, a comeback was just around the corner. It was just his luck to be struck down before one, in the time of heightened preparation and heightened nerves. His team couldn't afford this. The whole situation straight up sucked.

Jongho groaned and moved over onto his side, to somehow get into a more comfortable position. Maybe if he had enough time to rest between now and getting up, he'd feel slightly better before morning practice. Hopefully. Probably not. His body strained as he reached out to grab his phone, arm flopping a bit before locating it on the messy night-table. Jongho reminded himself that he would have to clear that up soon. Mingi kept on misplacing things on it.

His shared room was dark and the phone screen seemed brighter then usual. The blinding light hurt his head. A lot, he might add. He had about 13 minutes, give or take, before he usually got up. He hoped beyond hope that by then he would somehow feel better but he know that there was not enough time. The pounding in his head grew louder and it hurt. Everything hurt. This was great. This was fantastic. A chill ran through his body and he drew his blanket closer. A minute later, he pushed it off. Heat and cool alternating between each other. Jongho shivered. It was going to be a long day.

He was sick, but lying there on his bed, Jongho resolved not to tell his members, or at least not to tell them extent of his sickness. He'd say he was sick, not that his head pounded at every thought or that the mere ray of light actually killed him or that he was abnormally hot but deathly cold. Hopefully it wouldn't come to a full reveal because they needed to continue working towards the comeback, not set their priorities on worrying about him.

Jongho hated when they worried. They barely ever worried for him, his practiced façade hiding all his struggles skillfully, but when they did, even for the smallest bit, it threatened to bring it all down. Plus it disconcerted him to no end. Not that he thought that worrying about him was bad, rather it was always him worrying about them, and he would hate to have the roles switched. He knew what it was like to worry and he never wanted to make his hyungs go through that for him. It felt wrong to be the person worried about. Jongho was the "strong maknae" and unlike most maknaes, he was strong for his hyungs, not them for him. He had to be strong, for what was he without strength? 

Definitely not useful, that's for sure.

He groaned but half way through he was cut off by his own painful and sharp hacking. This was all getting too lovely. It left him breathless and in the height of this motion, his headache flared up and he got colder. He curled into himself, bracing himself to bare through the pounding headache. He stayed there steadying his breathing, trying to ignore the fact that everything hurt.

Jongho wished he could forget it all and go back to sleep for another 10,000 years, preferably more. However, he knew that wouldn't happen. Even a short nap seemed impossible. He would have to get up soon and that would not be a pretty sight.

His alarm went off, the annoying sound repeating over and over again, knocking him out of his musings and exacerbating his already painful headache. Quickly, he fumbled to press the off button. Jongho found it where he left it, after checking the time several minutes before. He rolled over and it ended up tangled between his warm blankets. His whole body ached and with the mad rush to turn off the alarm, he didn't feel any better. Not that he would. but once again, he had hoped that he would have felt better after waiting a bit. 

In the bunk above him, Mingi moved around, awakened by the brief scream of the alarm. It was only natural for Mingi because unlike probably most of the population, he could wake up immediately from even the smallest sound of the alarm. Jongho envied him despite Mingi describing it as a "curse that had only caused him pain, suffering and early mornings." Mingi seemed to know that Jongho was already awake and dangled a hand to the lower bed, waved ever so slightly and let out a tired and sleepy good morning. Jongho echoed an even sleepier version of that greeting, hoping that the sleep would mask the strain and wheeze that was present.

Jongho screwed his eyes shut and stretched his worn arms out. He let out a sigh. He could do this. He was strong enough. A little sickness wouldn't stop him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is my first work here and hopefully it is acceptable. That would be nice. I may add another chapter, but who knows. With my procrastinating skills, it may be a bit tricky. But I shall try. Please comment and I hope you have a great day!
> 
> Ok i totally forget if Jongho is like actually referred to as the "stong maknae." My mind is failing me. Thanks a lot quarantine.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day doesn't get much better.

Morning was easy. It always was. The members were groggy from sleep and it was easy to pretend everything was alright when people are too tired to notice anything was off. And Jongho was a performer, not the best to be sure, there were far more better ones in the world, in his group even, but he could fake it when he needed to. Of course, every few moments his facade cracked, when a particularly throbbing ache assaulted his sense or when he shivered, small but noticeable. But all in all, his performance was going well.

Not all of them were truly so tired, but they all felt the effects of lack of sleep. Hongjoong was tired as ever but he was eager to start the day and Yunho was filled with an entirely, in Jongho’s words unnatural excitement and energy for being up so early. Mingi was grumbling lightly and the others were following after him, rubbing their eyes and yawning every so often. Wooyoung though, did it in a much more dramatic way. Jongho couldn’t help but let out a tired smile seeing his youngest hyung draped dramatically on their shared couch and cursing the sun between every few words, his voice as loud as it always was. Sleep was a precious thing and even when they got enough of it to function, they still yearned for more.

Breakfast passed by quickly and without any hiccups. Jongho had opted out of breakfast, telling his members he was trying a new diet, saying he needed to get rid of his baby fat. His members protested and even San remarked that he was looking a bit pale, but they understood the pressure to be good, to look good, to be perfect in the industry, so after a few objections, they let him be. Jongho, of course, was on no such sort of diet and if he had been feeling better he would have surely eaten, but his stomach was doing flips and he didn’t want to risk throwing up anytime soon. He’d have lunch, probably. Well actually, if things went the way they seemed to be headed, Jongho wasn’t sure he’d have lunch either.

But it was alright. He could do this. He’d gone without eating countless times before and he’d endured worse for his hyungs. He was strong and since he was strong he could do such things. The pain didn’t matter, not now at least. The focus was on weathering through this small storm without anyone noticing. He would be both useful and strong despite it.

Jongho had hidden a lot in the past, especially at the beginning of his long journey as part of Ateez, hesitant and scared to reveal anything. He had, of course, since then opened up. The earnest inquiries of his hyungs and genuine care helped him be more open with himself and those around but never did he go all the way in. He had opened enough, just enough, that they would trust him to tell them if something was wrong and not enough to get a clear view pass the careful mask he’d constructed and the insecurities lurking behind.

Vulnerability hurt. It was uncomfortable. He didn’t like it, he didn’t like it at all. He always seemed to regret any emotional openness for nights after the event. Jongho was not against the vulnerability of others, no, of course not. He was ready to listen to anything, whether it be an inconsequential rant to things of the greatest magnitude. He would do it willingly for anyone, even though it made his skin crawl in discomfort and stomach churn with unease. He could see others vulnerable, but never could he himself be. He was viewed as strong, and he’d like to keep up that act as long as necessary.

Now back to the present, where his head pounded and his ears rung and his stomach wouldn’t stop its constant movement. Since breakfast, he and the members had moved into the company car, clamored for some of the more awake ones and trudged for the rest. They were all more alive then the were before thanks to their daily dose of caffeine. There were a few loud voices from his members and Jongho suppressed a flinch at these. The day had only just begun.

He picked a seat at the back, next to the window, as far away from the rest of his members, however futile it might have been seeing how they were stuffed together in a small van. Near the window, he could lay his warm forehead against the cool window, fogging it up ever so slightly. With every bump and hitch, his head throbbed and his stomach turned and he didn’t feel to positive about the day ahead. It looked like he was sleeping, his eyes closed. He could hear a vague aww from the left side of the van and it seemed to all that he was a tired maknae surrounded by tired but defiantly energetic hyungs. 

The ride was less then enjoyable and when the car stuttered to a halt, less smoothly then usual, he opened his eyes and he felt them immediately droop down, tired as ever. He blinked several times before he stood up to leave the crowded van. His vision spun and swayed as he tentatively got out of his seat, his balance out of his control. Most of the members had gotten out quickly and Hongjoong waited at the door for him to come out of the dim van. He grabbed the seat in front of him and took a moment to steady himself, trying not to show how twisted and swirled his world had become. In a moment, he was out of the dim van, breathing deeply the fresh air, a chill traveling up his spin, the merry-go-round of his mind slowly coming to a stop.

The other members were ahead of him, shuffling quickly through the chilly air, eager to get inside the warm building. Hongjoong waited by his side, eyeing him with a worried look. Jongho brushed him off with a huff. Jongho was happy he had waited for him, it was always nice when someone waited. His leader would always do that, looking out, counting heads, and walking behind with the stragglers. Together, they headed towards the company building, the KQ logo plastered everywhere.

 _It isn't that cold_ , Jongho thought, remembering the exaggerated yelps of his hyungs the moment they had stepped out of the vehicle. But then again, Jongho never did get as cold as others, and he was a bit warm, headaches do tend to do that to people. Hongjoong didn’t seem to think that, linking his arm with Jongho’s and hurriedly dragging him inside, quite the opposite pace of Jongho’s leisurely stroll. The moment they entered the company building. He was struck by a blast of warm air, heat radiating through his body, and his headache pounded once again heavily against his head. Hongjoong was oblivious to the pain and hurriedly ushered them towards the training room.

They turned a corner, meeting the rest of the group, and with them, they made their way to their destination. They entered the room moments later and Jongho was struck by the similar scene, a mirror in front of him and the rhythm of the blasting music, thudding against his head. Seeing this, Jongho knew that the morning had been easy, this part would be much harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok ok after a veryyyyy long time, the second chapter has finally come, and seeing how it ended, a third was is obligated. (I haven't written that one yet though.) The tone and the themes (if they even could be called themes) of this chapter are a bit different from the previous and there may be a few inconsistencies because it's been awhile and the writing of this chapter was very scattered. Hopefully not too many. I am not satisfied with this chapter but I felt I should post it nevertheless cause I got the time now and dang it's been awhile. Aghhhh I hope this chapter is acceptable and I have a talent for repeating myself so there is a lot of repetition. Anyway. Thank you for reading and kudos and comments are always appreciated! I hope you have a lovely day!


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